Moving From a Romantic Twosome to a Solid Stepcouple and Stepfamily



Posted: Saturday, March 14, 2009

by
http://stepcoupling.com

ARTICLE ONE: THE BEGINNING

ROMANTIC LOVE - A POWERFUL DRUG

Most stepcouples begin their journey in romantic bliss two lonely, horny people who attach to each other like magnates often while theyre still married to spouses, or after a miserable divorcewhatever. It doesnt matter. They fall in love. Theyre heavily seduced by the feeling. Its ROMANCE - not based in realitysorry to say. But it feels wonderful!!

They get married or committed to each, and then theyre no longer just two people in love. It now becomes a GROUP AFFAIR that includes each others children, ex-spouses, extended family, family pets and maybe even a baby due soon. It includes schedules, house juggling, sibling and stepsibling rivalry, jealousy, resentment and confusion on everyones part.

At this point they all say:

Wed have the perfect relationship if it werent for his (or her) children-or the exes-or the parenting style differences-or the bills blah, blah, blah Again it doesnt matter what it is that irritates; it just does!

They also say: Look, when the children arent around, we talk, have fun, have sex, laugh, go out, dream about the future. But when the children enter the picture, we fight.

This awareness comes sometime after the honeymoon. Most people believed it wouldnt happen to them. This is where the rubber hits the road. Its the beginning of honest stepcoupling and the journey from a romantic twosome to a solid stepcouple and stepfamily. All the research says it takes from 2 to 5 years for stepcouples and stepfamilies to adjust to the point where adults and children feel trusted, cared for and that they belong together.

Successful stepcouples first have to come to grips with the reality that their relationship is NOT about just two adults who fell in love and got married. They need to accept that their stepcouple and stepfamily will always be a complex system of adults and children from different parents and pasts with different loyalties. Their stepfamily exists and endures BECAUSE two people fell in love, got married (or other committed relationship), traveled the stepcouple journey and lived happily ever afterchildren and all.

Read Susan Wisdoms next 4 blog articles about stepcouples who travel the journey and are able to adjust to the challenges enough to accept the whole package.

FIND OUT HOW THEY DO IT!

Susan Wisdom, LPC

http://www.stepcoupling.com

This Article has been viewed 36 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
No comments yet.
We want your comments! If you can read this, you don't have javascript enabled, so you can't use this comment system. Please enable javascript.